What is more horrifying? I truly do not know.......
The freaks came in without warning. No air raid sirens, no plastic surgery covered news reports, no police sirens, just silence. Fantasy vs reality. The horrible dream that stained every aspiring homosexuals sheets at age 14 were now fertilizing my lawn and corrupting my questionable existence.
man candy........
dudes...........
leather............
hair gel.................
god damn cologne................
I thought the gay culture had abolished cologne, but they hadn't and it was seeping into every crack and crevice of my person....rebellion, no! This is not the day and age of savagery and abuse....This is the time of acceptance. Like accepting that every time you order something its going to come out like a steaming pile of shit. And right now was no time for a stand off...We are outnumbered and out weirded...
We have become the generation of THE GAY!
The excitement and curiosity of seeing complete and utter faggotry was too much for me to deny...I had to pony up and take to the streets and see what the merry homos were all about...High hopes for butt games, beard to beard combat and lesbo clam stamps had me geared up and ready to burst....
Walking the confetti littered streets of downtown expecting a mix between ricki martin and sick acid trip, my spirits were deflated. Not one filthy man-on-man orgy, no back alley blow jobs. I was enraged! I was disgusted with myself. I wanted it and couldn't get it. I was the freak. But as the confetti got thicker so did the smell of cheap cologne and dooods, or chicks, or....
The freaks began to appear! I found myself thinking, "Oh GOD, please let it get gayer...please, please, please." Like a kid on Christmas Eve hoping that Santy brings him the bike he wanted, I wanted more dick and hair gel. Awaking and seeing the shimmer off its rims the gayte keeper let me in. He was dressed in the most unassuming white (but finely pressed) outfit. Waving his home-0-made pride/californian flag...the demise of us all!!!!! I was in heaven! I was slobbering on myself saying things like "Holy fuck!, look at the size of that chicks COCK!" There were things going on that I wasn't on the "in crowd enough" to see or understand, but was sure my brain couldn't translate.
I wanted to put both my arms above my head and shake them back and forth while waving my hips!!!
I was here!!!!!!!
Normality was gone. Flushed down the silver plated bowl of the gay lord. I was outta control. "Kiss that dude!" Trying to excite the boys....or girls...or....
When I reached the summit I found him, he was my abominable snowman, bigfoot, the lockness!
He was so awesomely gay! He even showed me his leather cod-piece! Fantasy vs. Reality....it was all happening.
It was everywhere. Dooods....Flesh.... Confetti......fucking Cologne!
Then I saw a place no hetero should go. I thought to myself, "This could be it," "The mother fucking, mother load!" The most dangerous place on the planet. Kim Jongs dragon breath was no match for this. OUTHOUSES............
"GET A FUCKING GRIP....."
"You don't have the credentials for this"...I thought...
These fucking ass werewolfs will tear you to shreds. I felt the pressure to stand up for myself, but the yellow eyes of the bathroom vultures made me fold up my pride and stick it in my pink feathery
juicy couture purse. Back to the streets where it was safe with the merry homo's....
Curiosity was fulfilled. Fantasy Vs. Reality. Rolling back home I wondered, "What the FUCK was I doing? What was I thinking? " I wanted more, the queers just didn't do it for me. I saw bigfoot but wanted the tooth fairy too. No butt jams, no lezzi brawls just a bunch of hair gel and the stench of cologne. The dreams of ass deprived psychos running amok in the streets of downtown were created in my own twisted head...had I gone to far...or not far enough...The werewolves would have torn me apart and left to have my bones picked by the vultures.....
