Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The ZOO.......

Double days...............

Ando's in the morning.  Dodged a 9.2 earthquack that was supposed to ruin all of Los Angeles.  The earthquack god was totally wrong and I didn't have to rape anyone. At 10:59am I was happy that I wasn't dead as fuck or in a pile of rubble. 

Cheebo Chally made me some kitty and I was in hopes of ranging up to the Zoo.  Linked up with micah and cheebo.  Surfed fun Zoo and slipped away from a ton of LA Zombies.  Jbrother and Sarlo were trading off and really giving it a GO! GO! GO!

Later we popped the car lid and had to get pip started.  Shot some tequila and had a few civvies.  Rushed down a few tall boys of the latin decent and off to Echo Park Park Park Park Park to see the Tijuana Panthers.  Super fun with TNT and Tecates. 

Wanna Party?

I've never been a little "US" across the land, I usually know where to go and what to do.  I don't mind football and love girl scouts....ugggggghhhhhhhh.  Fucking shit up? Sure...This song will make you want to rave until your teeth fall out and pants spilt...


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Deepsea Diver



If you dont know...now ya know.....

Monday, May 17, 2010

Fantasy Vs. Reality

What is more horrifying?  I truly do not know.......

The freaks came in without warning.  No air raid sirens, no plastic surgery covered news reports, no police sirens, just silence.  Fantasy vs reality.  The horrible dream that stained every aspiring homosexuals sheets at age 14 were now fertilizing my lawn and corrupting my questionable existence.

man candy........
                 dudes...........
                          leather............
                                     hair gel.................
                                                 god damn cologne................

I thought the gay culture had abolished cologne, but they hadn't and it was seeping into every crack and crevice of my person....rebellion, no! This is not the day and age of savagery and abuse....This is the time of acceptance.  Like accepting that every time you order something its going to come out like a steaming pile of shit. And right now was no time for a stand off...We are outnumbered and out weirded...

                                    We have become the generation of THE GAY!


The excitement and curiosity of seeing complete and utter faggotry was too much for me to deny...I had to pony up and take to the streets and see what the merry homos were all about...High hopes for butt games, beard to beard combat and lesbo clam stamps had me geared up and ready to burst....

Walking the confetti littered streets of downtown expecting a mix between ricki martin and sick acid trip, my spirits were deflated.  Not one filthy man-on-man orgy, no back alley blow jobs. I was enraged!  I was disgusted with myself.  I wanted it and couldn't get it. I was the freak.  But as the confetti got thicker so did the smell of cheap cologne and dooods, or chicks, or....



The freaks began to appear!  I found myself thinking, "Oh GOD, please let it get gayer...please, please, please."  Like a kid on Christmas Eve hoping that Santy brings him the bike he wanted, I wanted more dick and hair gel.  Awaking and seeing the shimmer off its rims the gayte keeper let me in.  He was dressed in the most unassuming white (but finely pressed) outfit.  Waving his home-0-made pride/californian flag...the demise of us all!!!!! I was in heaven! I was slobbering on myself saying things like "Holy fuck!, look at the size of that chicks COCK!"  There were things going on that I wasn't on the "in crowd enough" to see or  understand, but was sure my brain couldn't translate. 

I wanted to put both my arms above my head and shake them back and forth while waving my hips!!! 

I was here!!!!!!!
Normality was gone. Flushed down the silver plated bowl of the gay lord.  I was outta control. "Kiss that dude!"  Trying to excite the boys....or girls...or....
When I reached the summit I found him, he was my abominable snowman, bigfoot, the lockness! 
He was so awesomely gay! He even showed me his leather cod-piece!  Fantasy vs. Reality....it was all happening.

It was everywhere.  Dooods....Flesh.... Confetti......fucking Cologne!

Then I saw a place no hetero should go.  I thought to myself, "This could be it," "The mother fucking, mother load!"  The most dangerous place on the planet.  Kim Jongs dragon breath was no match for this.  OUTHOUSES............

"GET A FUCKING GRIP....."
"You don't have the credentials for this"...I thought...
These fucking ass werewolfs will tear you to shreds.  I felt the pressure to stand up for myself, but the yellow eyes of the bathroom vultures made me fold up my pride and stick it in my pink feathery juicy couture purse.  Back to the streets where it was safe with the merry homo's....
Curiosity was fulfilled.  Fantasy Vs. Reality.  Rolling back home I wondered, "What the FUCK was I doing? What was I thinking? "  I wanted more, the queers just didn't do it for me.  I saw bigfoot but wanted the tooth fairy too.  No butt jams, no lezzi brawls just a bunch of hair gel and the stench of cologne.  The dreams of ass deprived psychos running amok in the streets of downtown were created in my own twisted head...had I gone to far...or not far enough...The werewolves would have torn me apart and left to have my bones picked by the vultures.....

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sean Hayes

....snuck this last  month at a show in Los Angeles....

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Scotty Pink Leathers Ghost Stories

Took a little trip out to see scotty pink leather at his crib in the bay (not sf).  I got into his day to day of masturbation and his intake of muscle milk....Two computers running at all times, uncashed checks everywhere and paperwork everywhere. This dude is a maniac....Friday night party boy is actually a full bore investigator.  SO, I guess he's into romance novels and stories about ghosts.  This is a picture of him with his favorite haunt....

oh yea...forgot. dill and i went to visit this pink bastard in the hospital. hospitals security are horrid. we could have killed anyone in there. just walk up, pull the plug. not that we wanted to go kevorkian or anything. but we coulda.  scotty got his leg jammed up so they had to dice it up. some sorta blood clot. dill tried to heal him with the power of zool but it didnt work, just got super homo erotic...the nurse was sure that it was broken though....yea. good job lady....

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

DONT GIVE A DAmN

OR DO....DOESNT REALLY mATTER, ITS ALL THE SAmE SHIT WHEN UNCLE SAm TAPS THAT ASS.  TJP'S GETTING THEIR ROCKS OFF A WHILE AGO.  VIDEO BY JBROTHER.